Editors Note: I guess the message in this post (communication) got lost in the text. We've had a few people email to say "You're giving up?" which of course is not the point and inaccurate. And for me personally a bit of a hit to my pride as I'm very proud of our lives and of course no one wants to be accused of failing. I was going to edit Mike's words so it "sounded better" but I'm going to let them stand for themselves. The bullet point here is that we have a farm but ALSO we travel and ALSO we can go back to school and ALSO we can dress in drag and do the hula (that was Lion King reference ha ha!) and that sometimes it's hard to remember that we have so many doors open to us after focusing SO entirely on getting set up here. We love our lives that we have built, but this isn't our whole lives and nor should it be. You only get one life, you should do EVERYTHING with it! Thank you for reading! ~Erin
Good morning! I know, I'm a bit late with this post but it's a long weekend, so it's LIKE it's actually Sunday.
First things first; It's Sam's sixth birthday today. Or at least that's what we decided. When we got him in 2010, he had been found at one of the reservations around Calgary wandering around with a cat collar on so they just sort of estimated his age. To make it easier to remember, we decided his birthday would just be February 15. So if you see him around town, buy him a drink and wish him well. Actually if you see him around town, call me. We're like an hour out of the city so he really should not be Littlest Hobo-ing that far.
So in honor of Valentine's Day, I wanted to write a bit about communication. Every week by about Wednesday, I have a topic for Sunday's post picked out. Usually it's roughly written and edited by Erin around Friday and we drop in pictures to put it up Sunday morning. This week didn't work that way. In fact, I'm literally writing this out at 8:45 Monday morning. The reason for this drop in production? I had nothing. No fun stories to tell. No insights on living with purpose. I didn't even have an 8 Questions interview finished up that we could post.
I decided to ask Erin. Whenever I'm stumped, she's got a thousand ideas. She'd have something for sure! So I brought it up Friday evening and...nothing. Neither of us had anything important we wanted to discuss this week. How could that be??? We are so passionate about this plan and about the tiny house project... We were probably just tired. Yep, that was it. I've had a chest cold and a nagging cough that's been keeping us up all week. We're just feeling a little run-down and uninspired. We'd certainly get it sorted out.
And so, yesterday being Valentine's Day, we decided to make a conscious effort to do nothing. We would spend some quality time together, recharge and then inspiration (not just for the blog but for day to day life) would surely return. So that's what we did. We spent all day together, watched some movies, made a great dinner and just generally enjoyed each other's company. The result, much to our bewilderment, was the same purpose-deficient feeling. We went over our projects for the summer, our timelines for planting, our ideas for the landscape, but it felt very lackluster. Frustration was starting to creep in again when Erin finally folded her hands, lowered her gaze and said "I just feel like I'm over this whole thing."
So there it was. You would think that kind of statement about a project we had worked so long and hard for would be devastating, but it was actually the opposite. It was like she had opened a window into the conversation and there was this whole new fresh perspective. I realized it had been there the whole time, I just hadn't noticed it. Or maybe didn't want to say it out lout. I was over it too!
We both immediately launched into clarification of our statements. That it isn't like we wanted to leave. And of COURSE we still love what we've done. The fact is though that we are coming up on two SOLID years of working on this. From getting land, to permits, design, logistics, building, furnishing... This has been 100% of our effort for so long that we've been getting exhausted by it without really noticing. Of course neither of us wanted to say that for fear that the other person might think we regretted the decision.
And so a whole new line of conversation has opened up. This summer we will happily plug away on the few projects we have left to complete before the place is done done. Then, who knows? I mean, the whole point of building a house this low-key was that it can be locked up and left for a time without costing us anything. All of a sudden, all sorts of things are on the table. We discussed likely opportunities such as building a tear-drop trailer and hitting some work-stays in the southern states. And we discussed unlikely options like landing somewhere we've never been and seeing how far we can get by working odd-jobs and creating artwork as we went. (Truthfully, this option was quickly dismissed as it turns out we're too old for that shit and I have next to no artistic talent).
The point that I am very long-windedly trying to make is this:
The best, most inspiring and important discussions you can have with your partner sometimes need to start uncomfortably. With one of you saying something you really feel, but that you know the other won't be thrilled about and then trusting that you can find a solution together. As a team.
Til next time, thanks again for visiting and (occasionally) being my online therapists.